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  • Understanding Sexual Desire Issues

    Sex is a big part of life. Sex sells. Sex is everywhere. We are sexual beings from birth to death no matter what it looks like for us at different stages of our life.

    So what do we really understand about sex? Not the mechanics of it, but the WHY of it. What makes us want to have sex?

    The truth is, there are myriad reasons we want to have sex with someone: to feel emotional intimacy, to express love, because of lustful attraction, or to simply experience some physical pleasure ourselves. These are some of the positive motivations for wanting to have sex or be physically intimate.

    But not all motivations for sex are positive. There are also what are called “avoidance” motivations. These usually refer to a desire to stop or prevent something. So for example, a person may decide to have sex with their partner to STOP them from having an affair, leaving the relationship or to stop them from complaining that they never have sex.

    Basson’s Sexual Response

    Sex is far more complex than we think. Dr. Rosemary Basson has studied human sexuality for years and concluded that sexuality is nonlinear. Her work acknowledges that human desire can be both responsive and spontaneous. Her work also points to the fact that human beings are aroused by various stimuli and we all have a wide range of motivations for desiring sex.

    What is Sexual Dysfunction?

    Sexual dysfunction occurs in both men and women and can present itself in different ways. Some people find they have no libido, or no desire to have sex. Other people may have the initial desire, but cannot physically get aroused for the actual sex act. Still, others have difficulty achieving orgasm.

    Sexual dysfunction occurs because of a variety of reasons. There may be physical pain involved with sexual intercourse or a chronic condition such as diabetes or hormonal imbalances that affect how the body reacts to sexual stimulation.

    There are also psychological causes such as stress, depression and anxiety, feelings of shame, relationship difficulties and low self-worth that may cause a person to lose their sexual desire over time.

    If any of this sounds like you please send me an email and we’ll set up a time to chat. You deserve to feel sexual desire at any age or stage in life, I can help you get it back.