Mismatched Desires – How Sex Therapy Can Help You Connect
Sex is a powerful way for two people to bond and feel true intimacy with one another. But what happens when one person in the relationship has less of a sex drive than the other person? Are they destined for relationship doom, or can they meet somewhere in the middle?
The answer is, plenty of couples experience this exact same scenario and many of them have found solutions in our sex therapy work together. It is normal for 2 people to have different desires for sexual intimacy, you are not broken!
What is a Sex Therapist?
As an AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor I help people understand, heal and work though sexual difficulties that are not a result of a physical issue. I help clients address underlying mental, emotional or relational issues that may be causing the sexual problems you are dealing with. Common issues I help clients with are:
· Low libido
· Erectile dysfunction
· Anxiety related to sex
· An inability to orgasm or get aroused
· Fear of sex
· Mismatched sex drives in couples
What You Can Expect in a Sex Therapy Session
If you and your partner have mismatched sex drives and are considering seeing a sex therapist, you no doubt have a lot of questions. What will it be like? Will you feel awkward and embarrassed? Do you have to take your clothes off? (no to that last question BTW!)
The following are some things you can expect during a sex therapy session:
In order to help you with your problem, you and your partner will need to be pretty open about your sex life. My clients state that I help them comfortable and ease in the conversation. But be prepared to eventually open up and honestly share your fears, worries, concerns and delights.
Since I am trained to tackle sexual issues from a mental and emotional angle, I may suggest you make an appointment with your doctors to have some bloodwork and other potential tests conducted. Oftentimes, sexual drive issues can be a result of imbalanced hormones and other physical ailments.
Therapy is more effective when the couple continues to do the work at home in-between sessions. I often have my clients try specific exercises at home. This helps them and gives us a starting point at our next session and helps them make progress faster in therapy.
The idea of sex therapy can be very intimidating but I assure you, it can be a gentle process that ultimately helps you and your partner get closer together. If you’d like to find out more, please email me at: [email protected]