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  • How to Get the Most Out of Couples Therapy

    As a therapist, witness couples at their best and worst. The fact is “fixing” a relationship takes work. Often times relationships have been suffering for years before a couple seeks therapy with a licensed Marriage and Family therapist. It also takes two people wanting it to work and then putting in the effort to make their relationship a priority.

    When both people want to make their relationship work, I have seen couples go from nearly ending it to being back in love, liking and respecting each other again.

    The form of couples immersive therapy that I offer gets results faster and longer lasting but what else is involved? What allows some couples to make it while others don’t? The couples I have seen recover from marital issues and form an even stronger union have all had certain things in common.

    Here are some ways you and your partner can get the most out of couples therapy and set yourselves up for success.

    1. Commit

    Many couples view therapy as a last-ditch effort, which makes it all the more important to go all-in and commit to the process entirely, this is where my Couples Accelerated Immersive Program excels. Let’s fix your relationship faster than just 1-50 minute session every other week. 

    Remember as the Gottmans say “leave defensiveness, criticism, contempt, or stonewalling at the door”. These will only stall any progress that may be made.

    1. Be Open Minded

    It’s common to be skeptical of therapy if you have no experience with it. It’s also common to feel skeptical that your particular problems or issues are too big to overcome. While there are no guarantees in life, my professional experience has shown me that most relationship issues are solvable. But if you believe that your problems aren’t solvable or your relationship is a lost cause, then you’re setting yourself up for failure before we even begin.

    Real change requires an open mind.

    2. Do Your Homework!

    You don’t spend money and time on college to NOT do any of your homework. The same goes for couples therapy!

    During your sessions, I will help facilitate respectful and effective communication and give you tools to get the same results at home. But it is up to YOU to use these tools at home. Practicing these new communication is like learning a new language…it takes time and practice. 

    Your relationship will not be “fixed” every Tuesday from 4:15 to 5:00 pm, it will be fixed from the work you both do on your own time. The point of therapy is to learn how to navigate obstacles and conflict as they arise in everyday life outside of my office. Rest assured that I will give you the tools and coaching you need to practice these new skills at home.

    My Accelerated Couples Immersive Retreat is a wonderful resource that helps many couples overcome seemingly unsurmountable challenges. If you’re willing to commit to the process, have an open mind, and do the homework, you and your partner have an excellent chance of creating the healthy, respectful relationship that both of you have been longing for.

    Email me today at: [email protected]  Let’s talk and see if we might be a good fit in working together.