How to Deal with Infidelity in a Relationship

When infidelity occurs in a relationship, it can be completely devastating for the people involved. Infidelity involves breaking a promise to be faithful to your partner, and when it happens, it erases the trust that existed in the relationship. Dealing with infidelity can be pretty challenging and it raises many tough questions. Should you stay? Should you forgive? Can trust be rebuilt? Will things ever be the same? If you’ve just found out that your partner has been unfaithful and you’re not sure of what to do, this article is for you.

It’s important to note that infidelity can occur in any relationship. We often think it’s never going to happen in our relationship, but existing statistics show that infidelity occurs in about a third of relationships.

Why do people go outside the relationship?

People stray for a variety of reasons, and it rarely has anything to do with their partner. You might think your partner/ spouse was unfaithful because of something you did or didn’t do, but that’s rarely true. Here are some reasons for infidelity:

– To feel desirable

– Impulse/Lack of self-control

– Boredom

– Impaired decision making under the influence of drugs or alcohol

– Out of control sexual behaviors

Remember that none of these reasons is an excuse for their behavior.

Can a relationship survive infidelity?

Yes, it’s possible for a relationship to survive infidelity, but it means that both partners have to be willing to work hard at rebuilding the trust that has been broken, healing, and making the relationship strong again.

Here are a few tips:

– Talk about the affair- It’s important for both parties to have an open and honest discussion about the affair. It also helps to talk to a couples therapist, like myself,  together and explore ways that you both can heal faster.

– Remember the good times- An infidelity is painful, but it helps to reminisce about the good times and all the wonderful things your partner did for you in the past.

– Tackle old issues- Now is a great time to tackle all the underlying issues in your relationship and create a fresh start.

– Practice radical honesty– Try to be completely honest with each other about how you feel and how you want to be loved.

– Set a timetable for recovery- Both of you need to be intentional about your recovery. The one who created the infidelity needs to allow the betrayed party ample time for healing, and honor the other person’s recovery process.

– Start something new- Remember how excited you both were when you just fell in love? Rekindle that magic by doing an activity you both enjoy together, and incorporating more romance into your relationship.

– Reaffirm your commitment- There needs to be an understanding that infidelity will never occur in the relationship again, and a willingness to keep that promise by both parties.

In rebuilding a relationship damaged by infidelity, patience is key. With the support of each other, family, friends and a good therapist it is possible for a couple to move past an affair and become even stronger. I offer relationship counseling services for couples who find themselves in this difficult situation. Email me today at: [email protected]